Sunday, May 24, 2015

Magical Fortress


I had a really great hour with our kids the other day.  A single hour in all the hours that I spend with them.  It happens a lot less frequently then one would think.  It happened in College Woods when Charlie and his friend split off from a walk we were taking (I had it under control.  I TOTALLY knew where they were the whole time!) and found a magical fortress off the beaten path.  It was so magical that it had benches made from tree trunks, a rudimentary wall made from dead little trees, a fire pit, Bud Light cans and some basic trash.  Magic is for all age groups, you know.

The fun began when after we found the boys.  "We" being older brother Andrew, younger sister Elly and the dog.  I didn't lose my shit.  That was the first magical thing.  I let them show me their super secret, super cool find and when it became clear that all of them wanted to play there, I found a spot to plant my butt and let them.  And they did.  They played together, they played apart, they checked in with me every now and then.  It was very chill.  And I just sat there.  On my butt.  With my phone.  Scrolling through 500 pictures from a family wedding that just got posted.  Texting here and there.  Talking to the kids when they visited me.  I even showed Elly how to "Ohm" (she didn't get it).  It was awesome.  After about an hour they decided they had enough and we left.

It's going to be that hour that gets me through a lot of things I think.   I am 42 years old (ok, years young).  I just started working again after 12 years at home.  Going back to work has been nothing but healthy for me and I think for the whole family, but it also means for sure that time is moving and it's moving fast.  Prior to that fort being found my oldest son was walking 50 paces behind us, earbuds in, hating family walks hard enough that we were all physically influenced by it.  He is a good kid, my oldest son, but he is 13 and already starting to separate from us.  The other two aren't far behind.  It was just by dumb luck that the other boys found that fort and we were all able to forget what was distracting us for a while and just be.

I have no idea when the next hour like that will happen again.  I sometimes get them, on my own, when I practice yoga.  But this was all of us.  We weren't trying too hard.  We weren't trying at all.  And we were together.  It's going to be that hour that is going to get me through the next string of evenings we can't agree on dinner.  The next 50 times I yell at the kids to go to bed and refuse to absorb their discontent or drama.   It will even get me through the times when I miss my best friends because we are all so busy doing the same things we can't even do them together anymore.

It's not so much who was or wasn't there at the Bud Light fortress that time.  It's the fact that it can happen.  It's the fact that for that hour everyone was getting exactly what they needed without trying too hard.   I think that really will get me through so much.



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